Is Your Cat a Flerken? (Written by Lady Knight)

WARNING!!! Spoilers for Captain Marvel ARE present! If you want to avoid spoilers for this movie, DO NOT READ THIS!
Is my cat a Flerken? After watching Captain Marvel I, like many cat owners, was wondering if there are other Flerkens on earth and if my cat one of them. Flerkens are alien monsters who look like a common housecat. But before we start poking and prodding our precious kitties, we must ask ourself what is a Flerken. Flerken can eat anything because their stomach is a portal to another dimension. When they are under attack or in a feeding frenzy, they will open their mouth to reveal huge tentacles and suckers that drag their victim into their stomach. Their claws are also extremely toxic. They can take your arm off and you wouldn't even know. They can also understand conversations. Here is a list of things that your cat could do that might make him a Flerkens: 1. He can eat almost anything. (Flerkens are known for eating monstrous proportions of anything.) 2. He scratched you and you didn't know you were cut until there was blood running down your wound. 3. He has mode swings. (Flerkens are extremely moody. One minute they're loving the attention the next they're scratching your face) 4. He can get into anything if he wants. ( I told you they are smart) 5. You wild animal problem seemed to disappear. (Disappear into their stomach, I mean) 6. He isn't one of those pure breeds (purebreds have a document that shows both of the parent's origin.) If your cat does any of these, it is definitely a Flerken: 1. He scratches your eye out 2. You wake up to find yourself in another dimension. 3. He lays 117 eggs (they're asexual) 4. You watch him eat your dog. 5. An alien from another planet tries to kill him If you can prove that your cat is a Flerkens, treat him super special and don't make him upset. He might eat you.