Lark: Human, I am in dire need of assistance.
Me: Lark, I'm doing my homework - get off my computer!
Lark, sitting on my keyboard: No. I just looked at the calendar. You birthday is on the 26th. I need to get you some Cat Treat Bombs. They explode cat treats, and they would make a great present.
Me: But its my birthday, and anyway, the only thing I want this year is to sit and relax. I am so tired of running around with you all day and then doing schoolwork, and all the other stuff with the library and cat rescue, I finally can get one day to sleep in and -
Lark: But you can't sleep in, at your age, you have to get up and move or your joints will get sore and so will your back, you are old after all.
Me, unsure: How old do you think I am?
Lark: Oh about... mmm... 69? But that is not my honest opinion. I honestly think you are 96.
Me, red faced: I am turning 16!!!
Lark: For sixteen, you sure are slow bringing me food. and you just look... old. I look fifty years younger than I am. But cats just have good genes.
Me: You are like... ten. And you sleep all day. Scientifically, you sleep and rest about 20 hours of everyday.
Lark: I LOOK young, I am not YOUNG. Young cats are about fifty percent smarter than humans, but older, wiser, cats are about 10000 percent smarter than young cats. Age is wisdom. Look at your grades foe example.
Me: Lark... never mind.
Lark: I want Cat Treat Bombs. The internet says they explode in flavor. I figure I'll invite some other cats over too. share.
Me: I don't think I want to know how you use the internet. So you are saying you want a party on my birthday for yourself and your cat treats and friends, sacrificing my only day of rest?
Lark: Yes, and believe me, I am doing you a favor.
Me: You said the same thing last night, when you climbed on my head and tried to chew and knead my hair.
Lark: And now you scalp is soft.
Me: Tender. Painful.
Lark: Whatever. Get the treats. Please, for you loving King?
Me: Fine. I can probably talk a friend into helping me clean up.
Lark: Good, and one more thing, I may give you a present too. I have been looking out the window for a while now, and someone misses you.
Me: NO!!! LEAVE FRANK ALONE! I cannot have another lizard in my room!
Lark: we'll see. (evil meow.)
Lark: Also, by sharing treats with other cats, I gain possible voters for my run for presidency to take over the world and outer space.
Mark's Addition: LARK ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marysa's Addition: LARK ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mark's Addition: LARK ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Marysa's Addition: LARK ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really wish I had Lark for a cat. XD
ReplyDeleteIdk, I think I'd rather be a slave to a human being than to a cat :/
DeleteNah, I'd rather be a slave to a cat. I have an idea how I'll be treated and it wouldn't be worse than a human. Sure, you'd be stripped of your dignity, but a human can rid you of hope. And everyday we seem to surprise ourselves of how cruel humanity can be. So again, I rather have a cat be my master than a human, because you don't know what a person will do.
Delete...I'd still choose human, because I can outrun humans, but cats, I find, are quite fast. I mean, Lark is fat, sure, but what if he has henchcats?
DeleteYes, I believe that! I think Lark may have henchcats. Well, if he becomes president he will get the whole military and national guard. Uh-oh. O.O
DeleteThus human slaves :)
Delete*slaveowners
DeleteYeah, but I do think Lark's human, just doesn't realize his greatness.
DeleteI still want a cat like Lark. (I see his awesomeness.)
Shaly, I have this fat, demanding, and arrogant tuxedo cat who I swear would be like Lark. Do you want him? :D He chugs down dry food, meows (read: screams) all day, snores, acts like King Kong, and hangs out with his best friend, named Kitten. He’s just a saint...
DeleteAwww. That's so cool, Lucy. Yes, I would love him very much. What's his name?
DeleteHis name is Cuddles. :D He’s a very sweet cat, though, when he wants to be. Sometimes, he drives me crazy, but what else are cats for?
DeleteHis name is so cute. I really don't know what a cat is for, I always wanted one though. But, my mom doesn't like cats. :/ Is Cuddles the one on your profile picture? Because for some reason. I like black cats. Black cats and the ones that look like leopards.
DeleteThankfully, Cuddles is not in my profile pic. That’s my cat, Haji, who is named after a character on “I Dream of Jeannie.” He’s a black cat and is the complete opposite of Cuddles, thank goodness! :D All cats are awesome, though, even Cuddles, I dare say!
DeleteThat's so cool. You got a little angel and goblin.
DeleteMarysa's addition: LARK ADVENTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteActually, I'm gonna add that lol
DeleteOmg yes xD
DeleteHey, Mark (The name is, Borne, Mark Borne. XD) my poem, "Of War," has been the most popular on the last seven days along with, "Summer's Eve." How did that happen?
ReplyDeleteAre one you just clicking and clicking on them? Or are they really getting a bunch views?
Yep, Mark Borne, that's me lol
DeleteThey're really just going through a bunch of views; "Of War" has 143 views in the last 168 hours (7 days), and a total of 158 views all-time. "Summer's Eve" has 127 views total, all in the last 7 days. Subtly curious about "Summer's Eve", eh? Lol
Thanks, Mark.:) (I kind of hope it stays like that all month.)
DeleteAnd of course! Prudence Spencer is my biggest competition. Have you read, "Summer's Eve?" Its quite good. I don't think, "Of War," beats it.
Do you want the truth?
DeleteWell, Idk, growth with that poem's views seems to be slowing down. I bet Lark Adventures or Lucas Stories will easily jump you, maybe even a post or two from the planned future Kyra Organa Marathon
DeletePrudence is your biggest competition because she's (probably) you...? Lol I remember the other times you tried a false identity on this blog in hopes of anonymity, so it's not difficult for me to see definite connections, both through poetry and through commenting. But yes, the truth: is Prudence Spencer really S. Thorston Scarlett?
Well, don't you deserve your own Detective Award.
DeleteYeah, Prudence Spencer is Thorston Scarlett. Like you, I have a bunch of pen names too. The two above plus, you know, Scotty Fitzgerald, S.S. Scarlett (Yes, it sounds like the name for a boat) and Loren Bloom.
Anyway, it really was all a plan, an exam, and sort of a jest. When, I used Scotty Fitzgerald, my original use for using a new pen name was to see if my poems were that distinctive. And you guys, weren't quite use to my poems yet, so it was a bit difficult for you guys to actually know. Now with my current track record, poetry, and way of speaking, you guys figured me out. So MY WRITING STYLE is that distinctive! Which, was a goal I wanted to complete. As well, I realized a lot of my poems has zero comments. Which, kind of bugged me and I was sort of curious why? Were those my worst works? So, I thought maybe it was because my poems are so long, that you guys weren't reading it. So, I concocted my little scheme. (HA HA HA HA!) I figured, you get a new mysterious writer, who puts a date for their work to be published, (I thought that would throw you off, because I never put a date)then ta-da, a shiny new author, you haven't read of before. You guys, would actually read it. And it worked. So, I know now, that the poems I love , you guys don't like or don't care for and the ones I don't like, you guys love. Ironic, huh? Well, that's the truth and I will probably do it again too.:D
P.S.
That thing exploring your blog, is true. It didn't happen recently, but that's how I found it and got caught up on it.
That is pretty clever O.O
DeleteSo, the big secret is revealed... Your plan worked though, since we recognized that it was you from the start. :D Also, I love reading your longer poems, but I just get lazy with commenting here and there.
DeleteHi, Mark.
DeleteIt wasn't that clever. I just did what a lot of failing companies do, to get more attention and look new. They change their name. There was once, this Barbecue place my parents went to called, Dale's and it turns they didn't have the best of food. Sometime later, we came to Moon Swiner. Which, was in place of Dale's. However, like I said above, Dale's had just changed their name.
Same thing is happening with Toys R' Us. They are going to, 'close down,' and rename the stores Geoffrey's Toys. Or something like that, whatever the mascot's name is. Well, thank you for telling me I'm smart. When, I just really copied a business tactic. :)
Wow, lol That's weird
DeleteDoesn't make you less smart lol. The cleverness is in the execution of the plan, not the plan itself
Awww, thank you, Lucy. :) That makes me feel better, I was thinking no one was big on those poems I know you guys get busy, so I try to be patient. However, I start thinking stupidity and I doubt myself. But, thank you.
DeleteYeah, I executed the plan alright, but you guys already knew. XD
DeleteYESSSSS!!!!!!! MORE LARK!!!!!!!
ReplyDeletelol. Lark is as accurate as I am when guessing ages. XD
I love Lark. he is the summary of my cat. Adorably evil :D
Edit: Look at your grades foe example.--should be for, not foe
I figure I'll invite some other cats over too. share.-- should be "to share" not "too. share"
Besides those typos, it's AMAZING!!!!!!!! Please write more.
"Foe" might actually be purposeful; it gives the words an accent, something more than just talking. "Too share"...well, I think that might be an error :P
DeleteA note from Al! :)
ReplyDeleteTo the readers: Hey guys, my use of to and foe was not intentional. I never spell check anything because I never have time. But I know foe means nemesis, and too is used when saying, I like bacon too. Sorry about that, and I will try to be more careful. Every time I see your comments, I smile. Thank you so very much for your support. Lark thanks you too, he now believes he is a famous superstar.
Gabby, I get the feeling you're Al. Why didn't Al write this themselves? Do they live like the Amish with no devices? Because then, you know that makes sense. They have no phone nor computer. (I'm on to you.)
DeleteAnyway, if Al is not you, tell them, your welcome. That every time I see, "Lark Adventures," I smile and the stories really make my day. And if they have a real cat like Lark, which served as inspiration?
Shaly, I've actually spoken with Al, and I can assure you, Al is not Gabby :)
DeleteI don't fully understand why she doesn't post here, though. Gabby prob has a better idea why